You ever get so focused on the things you “need” you lose focus for the things God has called you to do? Maybe time for a vision check. Number 1 or number 2. Which one is better?

I kinda hit this revelation last week on my way to my new job. I’ve been a christian now comin on 7 years and the one thing I’ve always been absolutely sure about in my Christian walk (other than my salvation and trust in God of course haha) is that God has called me to worship. That is my gift and He’s more than well equipped me for a worship ministry. He’s blessed me beyond anything I could ever ask for in musical talents and even gear. Hah. Now I’m not saying this to toot my own horn or give myself a big head, but Im saying this because I need to remind myself of it cuz I almost lost it. I almost lost the vision of it. I pushed aside this awesome gift God has given me in the form of a calling. A call to worship and to lead others IN worship.

To be honest, there’s great deal of shame that kinda comes with this. For the last 10-11 months I’ve been hunting for a job and making a lot of legitimate changes in priorities, but even in that, it started to shift my focus on what God may have been trying to do in my life. For the past couple of months I’ve been hunting and focusing on everything Im not, everything I “need to succeed”. But even though I could of told you and believed that my trust is in God and that my hope is in him to get me through this, when I look deep down, it wasn’t case at all. I was lookin in myself and making these false excuses to myself. I said things like “well when I get a good enough job I’ll be able to do…” or “if _______ will happen in my life, everything will be fine blah blah” I couldn’t tell you enough how badly I needed a spiritual vision check.

I was at the Tomlin: Glory in the Highest concert last night and Louie Giglio said something awesome about God. He was saying that in the midst of the craziness of what was happening with the Christmas story (Mary getting “mysteriously” pregnant, It being the census time, being trapped in the side of a mountain to stay because there was no room at the inn) while all that was going on, after 400 years of silence, God decides He’s going to come back on that day. On what was probably the most annoying and aggravating day of Mary and Joseph’s lives and for anyone alive during that time for that matter, God decides He has something to say, something to give. And that is Jesus on that night. See his point was that God is not ganna wait until our situation is perfect for Him to show up in our lives and you know what? I think thats what I was waiting for. I was waiting for the perfect job and all the perfect situations with all the stars aligned and all the ducks in order. I wasn’t believing God is going to move, again, in my life.

But what God did was awaken my passion again. After what I felt like was silence in my life, God awakens the passion in me, again, to come back to my first love. God brought this to me. “Are you focusing on what you think you need and how YOU’RE going to provide it for yourself? Or will you trust me and come back to your first love. Me. Worshiping me.” You see, I needed a vision check bad. Because you know what, I’m not a Graphic Designer, Im not societies pin up boy. I didn’t go to a big college, I don’t have a bachelors or a masters degree in Graphic design or for any kind of ministry for that matter. But I  DO  know I am Christian, I am a child of God FIRST and always first. I live for what Im called by God to do not by what I think I need, and if that requires me to step out of faith to get the things God wants me to accomplish done, I’ll do it again and again and again.

I have a passion for worship and here I am, Im pursing it doing what ever it takes. This is going to mean having to weed out some of the other things in my life as well. So I say all this because there is victory in a lot of the other things in life I’ve been searching for. And please don’t get me wrong, we have a responsibility in this world to work and do such things, Im not sayin drop everything your doing and wait for God. I don’t think He wants that. I think the Thesolonians did that and there were a couple words exchanged about how thats not good (I probably butchered that reference, feel free to correct me). ANYWAY. After hitting this revelation, no lie, three days later God turned what I thought was ganna be a crappy low hour low pay job into the kind of Graphic design Job I’ve been looking for. God has continually, every day, been refreshing my vision and love for him. I have the confidence to step out on faith on some of the things I’ve been waiting for the perfect timing for. God has made it clear. The valley is ending and in that I am blessed. In that, is the best Christmas present I could receive this year.